my life is like a garbage

ok so on the topic to day my life is a garbage well about my life i kinda slowly to dislike it so i am feeling everyday tat i want to stab a knife into my useless heart:( but even so i must try not to bcuz i am scared that it would b a sin and i may go to hell so i must try not to.tis happens whenever wit my family i dunno y me and my family is not getting along :( so now i feel so upset and i dunno wat to do i want to pray to god but i want to try see if i can try and get along even if i have to make them piss off at me if la IF i realy cannot tahan i will try and pray. and if that dosen`t work i will feel like commitinga sucide ans by that time i don think i will be able to control myself i hope that my life will go as smooth like the day after my baptisam my life was awesome but now i want to die so i think if i rebaptist hahaha...:D there is not such thing as rebaptist but if i realy concetrate on god and jesus u think i can do it bcuz they r the true ruler of the world (F.Y.I. RULER DOSEN`T MEAN RULER ITS LIKE THE MAFIA THE KING TO OMEGA OF THE WORLD AND THE OMEGA IZINT OMEGA EGG THE WAN U BUY FRM SUPER MARKET AHH HAHA....) so yeah tats currently my life :( bye